Review: The Confederation Part 1 by Devin Nuhfer

I have been burned by self-published alternate histories before. Bad cover photo, implausibility, political bias, grammar/spelling errors and unreasonably high price. That being said, I have been pleasantly surprised on numerous occasions, Outrageous Fortunes by Steven W. White being a prime example. The Confederation: Anniversary, Part 1 by Devin Nuhfer falls somewhere in the middle.

The first part of a serial novel, the story takes place during the 1960s in a world where the Confederacy won the Civil War. Along with flashbacks and a brief background history in the beginning, we learn about this version of the CSA from Colonel James Radcliff, a war hero who made a name for himself in Cuba. Through a first-person narrative we are a shown a Confederacy that can be described as a North Korea-lite. The CSA is a police state and pariah among world nations, but has still managed to survive. As the nation celebrates its centennial, Radcliff is courted by vying political factions and witnesses growing discord among the oppressed "servant" class, the PC term for the slaves. Much of the story, however, focuses on Radcliff's experience fighting in Cuba, this timeline's Vietnam War.

I will start with the negative points since I want to end on a high note. There were many grammar/spelling errors throughout the book, highlighting a common problem among self-published authors: they either don't have their work edited or else they do not use a professional. Also, as Seb has pointed out on more than one occasion, you can judge a book by its cover in the self-publishing industry. The cover photo for The Confederation leaves much to be desired and can only hurt sales in the long-run. There are a couple implausibilities, including a type of body armor in this world that is impregnable, unless you can afford the bullets that can break through it.

Despite these issues, The Confederation is a solid dystopian story not weakened by any political bias that is often found in American Civil War alternate histories. Though most of the story is spent introducing the protagonist, you finish knowing the CSA could be on its last legs, which leaves the story open for more action-oriented sequels. With some experienced beta readers and a professional editor, Nuhfer could have an engaging novel that can be easily digested in between longer novels. Whenever Part 2 is published, I just hope a new edition of Part 1 is released correcting some of the more glaring errors I found.

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Matt Mitrovich is the founder and editor of Alternate History Weekly Update, a volunteer editor for Alt Hist and a contributor to Just Below the Law. His fiction can be found at Echelon Press, Jake's Monthly and his own writing blog. When not writing he works as an attorney and enjoys life with his beautiful wife Alana.

Review: "Broken Souls: Volume I" by Alex Davidson

Grade: F

A common problem with self-publishing is that stories are published before they are ready to be read.  Manuscripts that are not peer reviewed or edited are rushed onto Amazon, Smashwords or elsewhere and subjected to the critiques of their readers.  Broken Souls: Volume I by Alex Davidson suffers from these problems.

The first volume of this serialized novel follows two teenagers, Icarus and his older friend Kay.  Both are "steamworkers" who tend the steam generators that keep their city running. They are assisted by Donna, a strange girl who appeared out of nowhere several years ago.  She does not talk and does not do her work, but both Icarus and Kay are obsessed with finding more about her.

I say obsessed because no rational reason is ever given to explain why they would risk so much tracking down info on Donna's history.  There was a short line about the "boss" asking them to do it, but when it comes clear that digging into Donna's past becomes dangerous they proceed in their mission, inspired by some unknown motivation.  Nevertheless, it is not difficult to foil the antagonists they run across.  One was kind enough to tell the pair he was going to kill them and even answered a couple of questions before our heroes dispatched him.  Other antagonists capture them, but are incompetent enough to leave them armed or give them easy means of escape.

The characters are inconsistent.  When they hear that people have disappeared after asking for newspaper clippings from the date Donna appeared (which was told to them quite matter of fact) they shrug it off.  Yet when they are searching through office records and hear footsteps out in the hallway, but find no one there, they immediately come to the conclusion that someone is trying to kill them.  Icarus himself has no issues with killing, shooting a librarian in the stomach just because she was not being helpful.  When you cannot empathize with the main character it can make the story difficult to read.

The book is very implausible, even for steampunk.  In 1900, it was discovered that steam works the same as oil and guns are designed to pull particles from the air to create bullets and the energy necessary to fire them.  There is a magic system in place, which could explain the bizarre use of steam.  Killing a "part" of your soul allows you to use magic, but it makes little sense to the larger story.  

Politically the world changed in 1939 when the British assassinated Hitler and the Nazis just disappeared.  To prevent the rise of another dictator like Hitler the world nations agreed to unite under a world dictator.  Considering the different national interests and ideologies present in 1939, it is hard to imagine the entire world voluntarily giving up their sovereignty without a fight, even with the initial changes to the laws of nature.

The book is filled with typos and errors (the Greek god Ares is confused with the island of Crete), which just adds to the plot issues of Broken Souls: Volume I.  Perhaps time with a writing group and a good editor can save the story, but I cannot recommend the current incarnation of the story.

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Matt Mitrovich is the founder and editor of Alternate History Weekly Update, a volunteer editor for Alt Hist and a contributor to Just Below the Law. His fiction can be found at Echelon Press, Jake's Monthly and his own writing blog. When not writing he works as an attorney and enjoys life with his beautiful wife Alana.