The Audio File: 5 Year Anniversary Special

Guest post by Sam McDonald.

So here we are, the 5th anniversary of Alternate History Weekly Update. I've got a very special edition of The Audio File for you guys this time. We're going to revisit podcasts that I've featured in the past. For various reasons I didn't include in my previous Audio Files. Sometimes I simply forgot, sometimes the story hadn't come out yet but I'm making up for that now.

Normally I'd talk about the podcasts that are to be featured, but thought we could talk about The Audio File itself and a bit of my own history. I don't quite remember when I found this blog, but I knew I wanted to be part of it instantly. I made some flags, and I made maps covering episodes of The Twilight Histories. I'm not ashamed of any of that, but I always felt that I was stumbling around and not really finding my voice. So what could I do to stand out from the crowd?

I'd noticed that Matt said he wasn't that into audiobooks, so perhaps that would be something. I'd also noticed that a lot of the audio fiction podcasts I listen to tended to have somewhat shoddy search systems; so looking up a particular episode could be a bit of a pain. It would be nice if there were a certain list of sorts complete with reviews of the stories. With all of this in mind I knew what my path ahead would be. Now the only question was what would I name my creation?

I considered names such as Freebies or Cheapskates in reference to the free nature of the audio fiction, but no. Then I thought about The Audio File, a play-on of audiophile in reference to my love of audio fiction. Audio File also happens to be the name of the premiere audiobook magazine, but I didn't find that out until later. I quickly put together an inaugural article and waited to see how thing played out. It has been more successful than I could have ever imagined.

Those first two editions are perfectly fine in their own right, but it's obvious that I was working out some of the kinks. The third edition, where I covered Pseudopod, was really where I felt like I'd firmly found my footing. Now, you'll probably note that I tend to praise stories more than I condemn them. The reason for this is two-fold: I'd much rather share a story I liked than rant about one I disliked, and space is limited by the word count so I have to pick my story with care.

Stick around after the reviews for a special announcement. Well, I think that's enough about me for now. So without further ado, once again it's story time...

PodCastle

Her Windowed Eyes, Her Chambered Heart by Cat Rambo

Narrated by Dave Robinson

Originally Published on Patreon

This story is set in a steampunk 19th century America and follows two detectives named Artemis and Elsbeth. Artemis is a robot who is powered by the element phlogiston. Elsbeth has feelings for him, but Artemis doesn't love her back, or so he claims anyway. The two detectives are off to investigate the automated home of a crazed inventor.

There really ought to be more robot characters in steampunk. It's an area of underutilized potential, so I'm glad that Cat chose to make use of it in this story. You could definitely see what Artemis goes through, constantly worrying about being deactivated, as an analog to the treatment of minorities at the time. For those of you who don't know, phlogiston is a fictional element that was believed to exist back in the 19th century. It was believed to exist in combustible material and to be released during combustion.

I thought that Dave did a good job with the narration. I especially liked the metallic echo that was used for Artemis' dialogue. It's a weird western with a robot detective. Need I say more?

Mister Hadj's Sunset Ride by Saladin Ahmed

Narrated by Cheyenne Wright

Originally Published in Beneath Ceaseless Skies

This story is set in the Old West and follows a nameless narrator as he travels with a man named Mister Hadj. Hadj had lost his faith in many things before meeting the narrator but now he's on the path to redemption. Part of that redemption involves taking down a clan of fundamentalist Christian vampires.

For me, Saladin Ahmed is an example of being able to like a writer's work without having to like the writer themselves. While we have our areas of overlap, more often than not I find myself in opposition to his views and I find him to be a rather annoying person in general. Having said that, I can still appreciate his work on its own terms. I enjoyed this story's theme of seeking redemption in a cynical world. The unnamed narrator is implied to be half-Arab which, while not entirely out of the question, would still probably be a bit odd given the time period. Then again, immigrants from the Ottoman Empire were arriving in America during the 19th century, so maybe not.

As stated above this story was featured in Beneath Ceaseless Skies, who have produced their own podcast of this episode. It was also reprinted in their special Weird West issue. In terms of narration I thought that absolutely Cheyenne nailed it with his narration of the story.

I story of faith and redemption in the weird west, and one I happily recommend.

Hart and Boot by Tim Pratt

Narrated by Amy Elk

Originally Published in Polyphony 4

This story follows a pair of outlaws named Pearl Hart and John Boot. Pearl is a former heiress from Canada who wanted to experience the thrill of being an outlaw in the Wild West. John is a mysterious man with the ability to phase through solid objects. The duo quickly become the scourge of the west and experience quite the thrill, but how long can they keep it up?

Tim Pratt has a reputation for knowing how to write female characters well, and this story is no exception. Pearl Hart is easily one of my favorite Tim Pratt characters. I just love how completely irreverent and carefree she is. I would have liked to know a bit more about John Boot though. I know that Tim deliberately left details about him vague, but I would have liked at least a token explanation about his origins and powers. Despite this I'd say that overall it's a fun little unconventional romance with a wild western flare.

Amy did an amazing job capturing Pearl's snarky personality with the narration. I think I've already covered my recommendation of this story.

The Litigatrix by Ken Liu

Narrated by Anaea Lay

Originally Published in GigaNotoSaurus

This story takes place in the 17th century and is set in the fictional kingdom of Dawul. Dawul is located between China and Korea and was founded during the collapse of the Ming Dynasty. The story follows Sui-Wei Far, the daughter of a great litigatrix. She wishes to follow in her father's footsteps, but often faces discrimination because she is a woman. Sui-Wei is about to take on her biggest case yet. The home of a wealthy family has burned down and everyone thinks the servant girl did it. It's now up to Sui-Wei to prove otherwise.

Let me start off by saying there is some really great worldbuilding here. Dawul, because of its location, is a real melting pot of cultures. The most obvious cultural influences are of course Chinese and Korean, but you've also got Manchurians, Mongols, Japanese ronin and even some European traders thrown into the mix. I liked how, even though she was limited by the time and place she lived, Sui-Wei still managed to be a strong and competent female character. This story felt rather reminiscent of other Far Eastern detective stories such as the tales of Judge Dee and Judge Ooka. The ending was especially ingenious, but I wouldn't want to spoil that for you.

Anaea Lay's narration tends to be a bit hit and miss. Here, however, she does a really good job. Another Ken Liu story that knocks it out of the park, and one that I happily recommend.

Senator Bilbo by Andy Duncan

Narrated by Frank Key

A PodCastle Original

This story is set either in an alternate history or in the future of Tolkien's Middle Earth. The Shire has long since become industrialized, wizards are grumbling about having their university funding slashed, and orcs are an oppressed minority among other things. The story follows a hobbit senator named Bilbo, a decedent of Bilbo Baggins himself, as he goes about his day doing various political work related to The Shire.

Okay, I'm not entirely sure if this one's an alternate history, but I figured it was close enough. Certain works of fiction are considered sacred cows that one simply does not tip. Lord of the Rings is often counted among such works. To me, part of what made this story so enjoyable was how it parodied and satirized Tolkien without abandon. Well, that and I never was the biggest fan of Tolkien, so the sadistic part of me enjoyed seeing Middle Earth corrupted by crooked politicians.

I'll admit that maybe my disappointment with Tolkien is because of how everyone hypes Lord of the Rings. On the other hand, I kind of side with China Melville's analysis of Tolkien as somewhat conservative and reactionary. Underneath the mythical imagery and epic battles I've always felt an undercurrent of Tolkien pinning for a past that never really existed. I know you could debate this view, but if you keep that in mind you'll probably get more enjoyment out of the story.

Frank did a great job capturing the humor of this story with his narration. Die-hard Tolkien fans probably won't like this one, but if you keep an open mind you just might like it. I recommend it.

Pseudopod

The Western Front by Patrick Samphire

Narrated by Paul Jenkins

A Pseudopod Original

This story follows a group of soldiers as they make their way across France during World War I. They soon find themselves helping to guard a rose, but this isn't just any rose. It radiates warmth, light and hope. If the rose dies there's no telling how much worse their already hellish world could become.

Okay, the description leaves something to be desired, but I promise you that the story is well worth your time. World War I was a major turning point in world history. It was the first time industrialized warfare was used on a global scale, and we still feel its effects even to this day. Even without the supernatural elements I have no doubt that this would still have made for an effective and terrifying story.

For a story like this you need just the right sort of narrator or else it all falls apart. Fortunately, Paul is the right fit for this story. Not much more to add here, the story really speaks for itself.

Unheil by Kathryn Allen

Narrated by Elie Hirschman

Originally Published in Pantheon Magazine and collected in Typhon: A Monster Anthology

This story is set in 1909 in German Southwest Africa, what is now Namibia. It follows a man from British Rhodesia who has come to work for the German colonists. The work is hard, but he's sure it will be worth it in the end. Then, late one night, he is greeted by a woman caught between life and death. She tells him of the horrors she endured under the rule of the Germans.

You don't often hear about German colonialism in Africa, so in that regard this story was refreshing. The description of life for the natives under German rule is absolutely chilling. What really sold this story for me was bit after the story where Alasdair Stuart gives more context to the horrors of German colonialism. That's not to say that the story doesn't stand on its own merits, it just that it was a little something extra that gave context to the horrors. It's a chilling tale, and apart from the supernatural bits, it's all true.

Elie did a great job with the narration. Fittingly enough he's from Zimbabwe, which at the time of the story was known as Rhodesia. Another story of realistic chills, and one you won't want to miss.

Cast of Wonders

There Are No Marshmallows in Camelot by Christian McKay Heidicker

Narrated by Marguerite Kenner

A Cast of Wonders Original

This story follows a little girl named Leticia Andrews who discovers the great wizard Merlin is trapped in her play house. Merlin has been thrust forward in time following a battle with the evil sorceress Morgan La Fay. At first Leticia thinks that it'll be great and that she'll get to learn magic, but what will happen if Merlin doesn't get back to Camelot in time?

The historical accuracy of the King Arthur legends is highly debatable, to put it succinctly. At the very least it's agreed that Merlin probably was real; especially since he and Guinevere were from previously unrelated Welsh legends. Similarly, Lancelot was from an unrelated French ballad, so that cast doubt on him. Still, there might be just the tiniest grain of truth buried in there, and this story had time travel so I decided to roll with it.

It was a cute little story. I liked the notion that you can find magic in your every day life if you know the right places to look. The conversations between Merlin and Leticia were fun and I liked the way magic was described. I also enjoyed the bits that follows Leticia later in her life as she searches for sources of magic. It was a nice little touch that tied everything together.

As I've mentioned in the past, every year the crew of Cast of Wonders select stories that they thought were particularly outstanding for a special honor. This story was Alexis Goble's pick for 2015. It is always a joy to hear Marguerite Kenner narrate a story, and this was no exception.

A fun little story about time travel and marshmallows. I recommend it.

The Great Game series by James Vachowski

Narrated by Barry J. North and Graeme Dunlop

A Cast of Wonders Original

This story follows...well, we never really learn his name. We do learn that he used to serve in the British army during the early 20th century and went on many fantastical adventures for king and country. From finding flying carpets in Persia to discovering the lost city of Iram in Arabia. The stories are framed as him recounting his adventures to students doing research at a library.

This one's going to be a group review since there are seven stories in the series. Overall I'd say these stories were a bit hit and miss. A couple were reasonably good pastiches of Victorian adventure stories, a couple started off good before running out of steam, and a few were just kind of meh. I guess that's kind of my biggest issue with these stories. They had interesting concepts, but for the most part they failed to realize their potential. Don't get me wrong, there we a few gems here and there, but overall I didn't find this collection of stories particularly memorable.

The stories are almost all narrated by Barry, though Graeme did narrate one of them. They both made valiant efforts, but it wasn't enough to salvage the stories which didn't work. I didn't quite care for these stories, but I'll say they're at least worth checking out. Who know, maybe you'll like them.

StarShipSofa

Don Quixote by Carrie Vaughn

Narrated by Nicola Seaton-Clark

Originally Published in Armored

This story follows a pair of American reporters who are in Spain to cover the Spanish Civil War. They come across a pair of brothers who have invented a diesel powered robot tank in hopes of defeating Franco's forces. The invention is a marvel of engineering, but what are the consequences of such a device?

It's often said that the Spanish Civil War was the first shots fired in World War II. I've always found it to be an interesting subject and it was nice to see a story set in it. I liked that this story wasn't so much anti-technology as much as it was a caution about the potential misuses of technology. I mean, just imagine what might have happened if Nazi Germany got their hands on an army of robot tanks like the ones in the story.

Stories that have narrators that are the opposite gender of their characters are always a bit of a gamble. Here, however, it works out reasonably well. I'm sure you all remember Nicola Seaton-Clark from when I covered Far-Fetched Fables. It's another great story from Carrie Vaughn I'm sure you'll enjoy.

The Wreck of Mars Adventure by David D. Levine

Narrated by David D. Levine

Originally Published in Old Mars

This story takes places in a world where physics and astronomy function as they were believed to in the 18th century. The notorious pirate Captain Kidd has finally been captured, but he's been given a chance to escape execution. He has been charged with leading a mission of diplomacy and discovery to the planet Mars. Little does Kidd know that's he's in for the adventure of his life.

This story had a certain nostalgic element for me. I was very much reminded of the often forgotten Disney movie Treasure Planet. For those who haven't seen it, it's basically Treasure Island in a space opera setting. I have many fond memories of watching that movie when I was younger. The writing style itself was very evocative of the high seas adventure stories of the 18th and 19th centuries. You really get that sense of excitement about exploring new horizons in an age of discoveries.

Authors narrating their own stories has its pros and cons. They can often do the characters' voices closer to their original vision, but they must have proper narration skills to pull it off. David is quite the narrator in addition to being a good writer, so it all works out.

An adventure on the high seas of outer space that I happily recommend.

Lightspeed Magazine

Time Shards by Greg Benford

Narrated by Stefan Rudnicki

Originally Published in Universe 9

This story follows to researchers at the Smithsonian Institute who are helping to create a vault-size time capsule that will be opened in 1000 years. They're also researching items from 1000 years in the past as part of a special exhibit to celebrate the BiMillennial. During this process they discover that, by running copper wiring against clay pots, they can hear voices from the past.

For those of you wondering, this is an alternate history, albeit a subtle one. The story seems to take place in 2000 or thereabout, and it's mentioned that the president is a woman, though I have no clue who that could be. The other obvious divergence is the discovery the researchers make by playing the clay pots like records. I found that particularly intriguing because it sounds like something that could happen in the real world. It was interesting getting to hear the Middle English messages in the pots. It didn't sound anything like Modern English, but at the same time I could catch little snippets that I understood or could guess the meaning of.

I guess you could almost consider this a time travel story with history as the time machine. As usual, Stefan does a great job with the narration. I give this story a hearty recommendation.

Selfie by Sandra McDonald

Narrated by Judy Young

This story follows a girl from the future named Susan. Her mother is a researcher at a colony on the Moon, and her father is a time traveling travel writer/tour agent. She's been on plenty of vacations to the past with her dad, but she yearns for the promise of outer space. To get out of the latest trip to the past she buys a robot copy of herself known as a Selfie. It seems like the perfect plan, but things don't work out as she expects.

Yeah, it's kind of hard to talk about this story without spoiling the whole thing, but I'll give it a shot. First off, I have no relation to Sandra. I found Selfie to be an interesting concept. You can give them any memories you choose, send them off to do whatever you want and when you're done their memories of the experience are downloaded into you. A time traveling tourism agency also sounds intriguing, though you'd think it would have to be highly regulated because of all the things that could potentially go wrong.

I thought Judy did a really good job with the narration. I can't really say much more, but I can say you ought to check this story out.

The Drabblecast

A Last Kiss For Lazarus Winters by D.K. Thompson

Narrated by MarBelle

A Drabblecast Original

This story is set in the world of Dave Thompson's St. Darwin's Spiritual series. It is a world where Charles Darwin developed goggles that allow the living to see the dead. The story follows Lazarus Winters, a black man living in London. He makes a living by extorting spirits for money and information. He's currently investigating the murder of his friend Neena. The investigation soon leads him to uncover a conspiracy of religious fanatics with a vendetta against the spirits.

As you may remember, I reviewed another St. Darwin story during my second article on Escape Pod. Of the two I think I prefer this one better. I liked how this story showed what it was like for people of color in Victorian Britain. We defiantly get to see the seedier side of this universe, and I think that was to this story's benefit. Also, there are no steam powered marvels or airships in this story, so if you don't like those you'll be good with this one.

Another things helping this story with MarBelle's narration and the excellent use of music and sound effects. All in all, another great entry to the St. Darwin's Spiritual universe.

Five Ways to Fall in Love on Planet Porcelain by Cat Rambo

Narrated by Norm Sherman

Originally Published in Near+Far

This story takes place in an alternate universe populated by sentient porcelain people. Their world is a hub of interdimensional travel and tourism. The story follows a porcelain woman named Tikka as she falls in love with a human from Earth.

This one's a bit unusual as far as alternate histories go, but I figured it was worth squeezing in. I found it somewhat confusing that the porcelain people were assigned social class arbitrarily. It almost reminded me of the classic EC Comics story "Judgement Day". Conversely, I was intrigued by the descriptions of other universes. For that matter, the porcelain people seem like they'd need to have been created by something else, but what made them? There's a universe inhabited by purple griffins and a universe with sentient rainbows, among other worlds. I can't really say much about the story's central romance without giving it all away. You'll have to find that out for yourself.

As usual, Norm does an excellent job with the narration. A slightly unusual alternate history, but one that is well worth your time

Conclusion

Well, we've reached the end of the list once again. What can I say, it's been a great ride. At this point I'm kind of waiting for the pool of stories to refresh itself, so it might be a bit before the next edition of The Audio File. I can't say when, but one day it will return. But don't worry, this is not goodbye.

I've noticed that the Update is in need of an anime expert, and I think that is how it will move forward in my contributions. In fact, I'm working on a very special review to come in the next month or so. I'm keeping it under wraps, but I can give you a taste. You may know that I enjoyed the anime Code Geass, flawed though it is. Well, this anime that I will be reviewing, I liked it even more than Code Geass.

I hope that you have enjoy The Audio File. I hope that it has brought great stories, great podcasts and great peoples into your life. And hey, if you're still hungry for more I've got another version of The Audio File over on Amazing Stories. So if you've been looking for great non-alternate history audio fiction, let's just say I've got you covered. You'll probably be seeing a lot more from that Audio File in the near future. On a side note, props to Matt for bringing great content week after week. You keep a way better blog schedule than I do with my own blog.

Happy listening to you all, and happy fifth anniversary Alternate History Weekly Update. Thank you for listening, I will see you guys next time.

* * *

Sam McDonald is a college student from Shreveport, LA.  When not involved with his studies he can be found blogging on Amazing Stories, making and posting maps across the web and working on short stories that he hopes to have published in magazines such as Lightspeed, Strange Horizons, and the Escape Artists Podcasts.

Top 5 Posts from May 2015

In terms of page views, May wasn't one of our best months, but we still had a lot of great articles. Lets take a look at the Top 5:

1) The Audio File: The Drabblecast by Sam McDonald.

2) Historians talk about Rome all the time, but what if Ancient Egypt never fell? by Rebecca Stirling.

3) Map Monday: League of the Defiant by Zalezsky by Matt Mitrovich.

4) Weekly Update #190 by Matt Mitrovich.

5) Map Monday: Dutch's America by Bruce Munro and Mumby by Matt Mitrovich.

Glad to see some of guest contributors take the top spots.

* * *

Matt Mitrovich is the founder and editor of Alternate History Weekly Update and a blogger on Amazing Stories. Check out his short fiction. When not writing he works as an attorney, enjoys life with his beautiful wife Alana and prepares for the inevitable zombie apocalypse. You can follow him on Facebook or Twitter.

The Audio File: The Drabblecast

Guest post by Sam McDonald.

Things are going to get a little weird in this installment of The Audio File.  Today we'll be talking about The Drabblecast. The Drabblecast brings strange stories, by strange authors, to strange listeners such as you and me. What that means is that The Drabblecast runs stories from a wide variety of genres and tones; their mission statement is that they never want there to be such a thing as a standard Drabblecast story. Of course, for our purposes we'll be focusing on alternate history and related stories.

The Drabblecast launched in 2007 by Norm Sherman, Kendall Marchman and Luke Coddington. Since those early days the crew has grown to include Nicky Drayden, Bo Kaier, Nathaniel Lee and Tom Baker. You might remember Norm and Nathaniel from the post about Escape Pod, as well as Nathaniel's stories from PodCastle and Pseudopod. Though not a member of the Escape Artists podcasts, the connections between the crews certainly give The Drabblecast that feel. I often think of it as a weird cousin to the Escape Artists podcasts.

The Drabblecast has all sorts of celebrations. There's the annual Nigerian Scam Spam contest, HP Lovecraft Month, Women and Aliens Month that celebrates women writers of science fiction, and much more. Besides the main story each episode features a 100 word Drabble and a 100 character Twabble. Earlier episodes didn't include the original text of the stories, but later episodes usually do.

I know I often make a point of encouraging donations to the featured podcasts, and that's always good, but there are perks when you donate to The Drabblecast. For a ten dollars a month subscription you get access to exclusive members only stories and for a one time donation of fifty dollars or more, Norm will write and produce a song for you about whatever you want. In fact, Norm has recently released a collection of these songs on iTunes in addition to an album of his original songs. If you like your music in physical form you can purchase it from the Drabblecast website.

The way that music is integrated into the stories, and the awesome episode cover art, are some of those touches that really makes The Drabblecast standout from the crowd. Anyway, enough with the intro, let's move onto the stories...

Now Let Us Praise Awesome Dinosaurs by Leonard Richardson
A Full Cast Production
Originally Published in Strange Horizons

This story takes place in a world where the dinosaurs evolved sentience and evacuated to Mars before the K-T asteroid struck Earth. Millions of years later the dinosaurs sent expeditions to Earth and discovered that humans had become the new dominate species. By the present many dinosaurs, such as our protagonists, come to Earth to participate in extreme sports competitions.

Now, from a scientific point of view, there's about a million different things that are implausible about this story. However, none of that takes away from how fun this story is. Dinosaurs and space exploration are two of my favorite topics, so naturally this story had me even before it started. Full cast productions usually have an advantage over single narrator productions and this story was no exception. All of the narrators did an excellent job.

It's got talking dinosaur dirt bikers from Mars. Need I say more?

joanierules.bloggermax.com by Nick Mamatas
Narrated by Naomi Mercer
Originally Published in Rabid Transit #2

Our story is told as a series of blog posts by a young woman named Joanie. She's been living a pretty normal live, but then she got a vision from God. You see, in this world England won the Hundred Years War, and God wants Joanie to liberate France in the name of the Mother Church.

In case you haven't figured it out by now, this is basically a modern day retelling of the life of Joan of Arc. Overall I found this story to be very enjoyable. We don't see much of this world beyond what's mentioned in Joanie's blog posts, but judging by that it doesn't seem to be too different from our own world. It would have been nice to see how history could have diverged, but since the author was retelling the story of Joan of Arc in the modern day, I can understand the desire to keep things familiar.

I though that telling the story as a series of blog post was a nice twist on the short story format. I also thought that Naomi did a great job conveying the snarky and conflicted tone of the story. There's a constant debate throughout the story of whether Joanie is crazy or really on a mission from God. However, given the number of seeming impossible happenings, and perfectly timed coincidences, I'm inclined to go with the latter.

A modern day take on Joan of Arc that I happily recommend.

Night of the Cooters by Howard Waldrop 
Narrated by Norm Sherman 
Originally Published in Omni Magazine

I know what some of you are thinking, and no, this isn't a dirty story. Of course, it isn't a particularly good story either. Our story takes place in a small town in 19th century Texas. News reports have mentioned strange crafts from Mars landing in England, but now those same craft have come to Texas. However, the Martians are going to have to get through Sheriff Lindley and his men first.

On the surface this should have been a fun story, but as someone who has actually read War of the Worlds, this story was incredibly irritating on a number of levels. The biggest flaw was the Sheriff Lindley and his men were able to beat back the Martians through enthusiasm and gung-ho manliness, and that's before the Martians got exposed to Earth germ. That completely flies in the face of the War of the Worlds, where the whole point is that the Martians are superior to Earth's technology and can't be brought down by such means.

Moreover, I found Lindley to be such an insufferable meathead that his characterization almost came across as a parody at points. Like how, after the Martians are defeated, he orders their war machines destroyed mostly to spite the local college professors; because apparently real men don't need higher education. Mr. Waldrop has succeeded in turning one of the greatest critiques of 19th century colonialism into a brainless pulp adventure. That's not to say all pulp is bad, escapism has its place, but War of the Worlds is most certainly not that place.

Two thumbs down. Don't waste your time with this one.

The Last Great Clown Hunt by Chris Furst
Narrated by Norm Sherman
Originally Published in Weird Tales #352

In this story we have a world in which tribes of clowns fill the role of the Native Americans. We follow our narrator from his first meeting with the clowns all the way to the Battle of the Little Bigtop. Okay, this one's kind of weird, but hey, it's The Drabblecast.

To be perfectly honest I'm not entirely sure how this story made me feel. I mean, it's got silly sound effects and clowns and all, but it also deals with the clowns fighting for survival and has Norm's serious sounding narration. My main issue is that I wasn't sure if I was suppose to take it as satire, take it seriously or something in between. Though, I suppose the third options was what the author intended.

Having said that, I think, iffy tone aside, it was still a reasonably good and fun story. I laughed, I contemplated and I had fun. Like I said, Norm's narration and the Dances with Wolves-esque soundtrack really added to the experience. Maybe I was a little hard on the tone.

A little weird, but a lot of fun. I say give it a shot.

Love in the Pneumatic Tube Era by Jessica Grant
Narrated by Kate Baker
Originally Published in Darwin's Bastards: Astounding Tales From Tomorrow 

It's often said that Canada doesn't get nearly enough alternate history love. Fortunately, this story has you covered. It's set in Canada in a world were pneumatic tubes are the primary means of shipping and transportation. It follows two lovers as their romance grows even as the tubes make personal interaction less and less required. Then transportation becomes highly regulated, and the age of pneumatic tubes comes to an end. The two loves must brave the odds to reunite.

When I listened to this story I was very much reminded of E.M. Forster's classic short story "The Machine Stops". For those of you wondering, that's the same E.M. Forster who wrote A Passage to India and A Room with a View. In both stories it's easy to see the advances in technology as the logical conclusion to our culture that simultaneously connects and isolates us with its advancements.

Now, let's talk about narration. Kate Baker is the host and narrator of the Clarkesworld Magazine podcast, which has some great stories we will cover in a future edition of The Audio File. Kate's narration is always a little hit and miss for me, but here it works perfectly. Overall it was a really cute romance story of love finding a way.

A sweet little story with a slight Canadian touch. I say give it a try.

Testimony Before an Emergency Cession of The Naval Cephalopod Command by Seth Dickinson 
Narrated by Norm Sherman
A Drabblecast Original

This story takes place in a world where, during the 1980s, the United States Navy developed a specially trained team of giant squids to combat Soviet submarines. By the present day, however, there's trouble. Nemo, the top squid of the program, is undergoing an existential crisis as he begins to realize that he isn't the only thinking creature in his world.

The story is told as something of a one-sided conversation between one of the members of the squid program and a senator. I always enjoy story in that sort of format as a means of changing up the short story form ever now and again. I also liked how the story made it clear just how alien a squid's mind is compared to a human's. Prior to his existential crisis, Nemo views the world as a series of levers to be manipulated in order to achieve various goals.

As usual, Norm did an excellent job narrating. He always seems at his best when he has these one sided conversation sort of stories. Also, random fun squid fact: squids have doughnut shaped brains because their digestive track passes right through their brains. And now you know.

A meditation on squids and our perception of reality. Very much recommended.

[Editor's Note: Probably one of the best stories on The Drabblecast. I also recommend it.]

The Ugly Chickens by Howard Waldrop 
Narrated by Norm Sherman
Originally Published in Universe 10

Yes, I am about to review another Howard Waldrop story, but this time it's a story I actually enjoyed. The story follows an ornithologist named Paul from University of Texas. I chance encounter with an old woman while riding a bus has sent him on his latest field study. He's out to see if the dodos might in fact have escaped extinction and he'll need all the leads he can find.

Every writer has at least one bad story and the whole of their work shouldn't be judged by that single story. I'm happy to say that this story fully restored my confidence in Mr. Waldrop. I liked how the story feel like the adventures of a real ornithologist doing research. This story also spoke to that hope that I think many of us have that maybe there's still some mysteries left to be explored; and that perhaps those creatures we think are extinct are still out there waiting to be rediscovered.

Now, let's talk about narration. I think you can guess that I thought Norm did a great job. If I did have a complaint it would be that one of the older characters referring to the Civil War as the War of Northern Aggression was a tad cringe worthy; still, I have known plenty of older Southerners who talk like that, so I'm willing to let that slide. Like I've said, it's a great story with a bittersweet ending.

For a great Howard Waldrop story, look no further.

Babel Probe by David D. Levine
Narrated by Norm Sherman
Originally Published in Darker Matter #1

When humans first explore space we used mechanical probes. Perhaps when we begin to explore time we will also use probes. In this story that exactly what happens. A probe equipped with artificial intelligence is sent back 6000 years into the past to see if there's any truth to the legend of the Tower of Babel. The probe discovers the people being oppressed by a being calling itself Ashurbanipal. The probe must decide if it will casually observe or if it will intervene.

First of all, hats off to David for portraying an artificial intelligence that was at once both familiar and alien in its way of thinking. I also thought the vocal distortion effects for Ashurbanipal's dialog was an excellently chilling touch. The concept of sending a probe, and telling the story from the probe's point of view, was to me a welcome twist on the format of the time travel story. As this is a story about seeking truth to the legend of the Tower of Babel, among other twists you might have strong feeling if you are of strong religious conviction. Just figured I'd give a fair warning.

Now, remember how in the intro I mentioned that if you donate fifty dollars or more Norm will write and produce a song for you? Well, after this story you get to hear one of those. Specifically, one titled "The Babylon Battle of the Bands", which was commissioned by a Biblical and Near Eastern archaeology society and I've got to say it is an excellent song.

A story about the search for the truth, and one I happily recommend.

The Reenactment by Ben Winters
Narrated by Dan Chambers
A Drabblecast Original

This story follows high school history teacher Robert Stanley; a man who thinks himself surrounded by idiots. Once a year he, along with a math teacher, reenact the dual between Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr. This year, however, the math teacher is getting married and can't make it. No matter, a replacement has been found. As the day grows closer Robert begins to wonder if he is a mere history teacher or something greater.

Okay, maybe this isn't alternate history per say, but it's still plenty of fun. I loved how sarcastic and unabashedly self-centered Robert was. If Severus Snape taught history I image he'd be much like this. It goes without saying that Dan's narration did a great job delivering that pompous snark. Though as someone whose high school experience was less than happy I can certainly see where Robert is coming from in his observations of his students.

I can't really give too much of the ending away without spoiling, but I will say that it is humorously ironic. I'm sure it'll get a chuckle out of you.

A humorous look at a history's teachers life. I say give it a try.

The Golden Age of Fire Escapes (Part 1 and Part 2) by John Aegard
Narrated by Norm Sherman and Monika Vasey
Originally Published in Rabid Transit: Petting Zoo

This story, told in the style of an old time radio show and set in a dieselpunk 1930s/1940s, follows a mysterious masked fire marshal as he fights to keep his city safe from fires. To this end he's created an elaborate system of fire escapes spanning across the city like a great metal spider web. But, will his greatest invention prove to be his ultimate downfall?

This story felt like a giant dieselpunk love letter to the pulp heroes/proto-superheroes of the 30s and 40s. The narration being modeled off of radio shows from those eras certainly helped in that regard. We see the fire marshal at the height of his glory and then fade into obscurity even after all he's done for his city. Perhaps it can be seen as a allegory for the many heroes ones beloved in their day, but in the present are incredibly obscure. Still, the ending was very heartwarming in its own way.

I should mention that this is actually a double feature. Before "The Golden Age of Fire Escapes" you get to listen to "In Search of the Mongolian Death Worm", which follows an Unsolved Mysteries-esque team as they...well, search for the Mongolian Death Worm. It's told in multiple parts, but you don't have to have listened to any of the previous installments to get what's going on. It's absolutely hilarious and you get to hear Norm sing a song about Mongolian Death Worms.

Two stories for the price of one. Get them while they're hot.

Hero: The Movie (Part 1 and Part 2) by Bruce McAllister
Narrated by Norm Sherman
Originally Published in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction

What happens to the heroes of 1950s B-Movies when the camera stop rolling? That's what this story aims to find out. Our hero Rick has saved his hometown of McCulloughville, Nevada from a swarm of giant mutant locusts. Rick should be on top of the world, but he feels empty and hollow. Before long his star fades out, his girlfriend leaves him, the media turns against him and things are looking down. Then he gets a call from Florida to help deal with a crab infestation. Could this be the chance he's been looking for to redeem himself and bring purpose back into his life?

The first half of this story is an absolutely brutal deconstruction of B-Movies and their heroes. The second half, however, is a thorough reconstruction of the concepts. The story itself is presented in the form of a script of a movie, and besides the descriptions and dialog includes suggestions from the director. Another aspect worth mentioning is that, although the story is mostly set in the present day, McCulloughville seems to be forever stuck in the 50s. In fact, when Rick travels to it the description reads as if he's traveling back in time.

There's something going on, but the story never makes it clear what. The story can easy be seen as a coming of age tale for Rick and the ending is very touching. You probably think I'm going to say I liked the narration...and you'd be right.

A story about finding purpose after you've slayed your monster. I happily recommend it.

The Cold Equations by Tom Godwin
A Full Cast Production
Originally Published in Astounding Science Fiction

This story technically isn't alternate history and many of you have probably heard of it. However, there's a story in Lightspeed Magazine, which we'll be covering next time, that is alternate history and based on this story. Therefore, I figured it be worth going over to prep for that story.

In the future, where humanity has begun to spread to the stars, a lightweight speeder ship is on a mission to deliver medical supplies. The pilot of the ship, however, discovers a seventeen year old girl has stowed away. Standard procedure is that all stowaways are to be tossed out the airlock. Can the pilot find the a way to balance the cold equations and save the girl?

Like I said this story, and it's ending, are extremely well known, as in Rosebud was Charles Foster Cane's beloved childhood sled well known. Therefore, it isn't exactly a spoiler to say the pilot can't find a morally sound way and the girl willingly throws herself out the airlock. Originally, the author wanted to save the girl through some technobabble, but editor John W. Campbell smartly pointed out the story would have more impact if the hero failed the save the pretty girl.

Now, to take such a well known story and make it feel fresh requires a special team of narrators. Fortunately, The Drabblecast knows how to pick their narrators. Of course, I guess it's also a credit to Mr. Godwin's writing talent that the story still packed it's punch after all of these years.

It's a classic for a reason. Go check it out.

Conclusion

Well, that does it for our tour of The Drabblecast. I hope you enjoyed. Remember, for ten dollars a month subscription you, yes you, get access to exclusive members only content, and fifty dollars or more gets you a song about whatever you please. And hey, this is just the alternate history stuff. There's plenty of more great free stories just waiting to be discovered.

On a more personal note, not long ago The Drabblecast could have published a story of mine, but they politely declined. I hope this shows I have no hard feeling about all that. I'll see you next time weirdos, and when I do we'll be heading to Lightspeed.

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Sam McDonald is a college student from Shreveport, LA.  When not involved with his studies he can be found making and posting maps across the web and working on short stories that he hopes to have published in magazines such as Lightspeed, Strange Horizons, and the Escape Artists Podcasts.